Tuesday, March 22, 2022

SPTD: The House of Four Doors Addendum

1.  Gilbert - Ultima Pistols

"Gilbert is led through a forest inspired by my friend's degree,  probably in the faewild.  He is asked by a very Lara-esque demigoddess to light 8 candles.  They collect 3 items from recently visited worlds.  After collecting these things, he fights nightmares/shad/shadows of former bosses.  Hephaestus appears and uses the 3 times to forge the Ultima Pistols"

2. Dr Watson  - Lazer claw

"A news paper clipping int he London toilet paper roll speaks of a star that fell into the city centre hundreds of years ago.  Having his curiosity upped to the Nth degree, he and steampunk Direwolf, in proper Sherlock helms attire attire, killing experiments that got out to obtain fragments of said star.  The unicorn warriors on the 4 invisible pink unicorns carry them to the clouds where the Lazer claw is forged"

3. Agent 9 - God's fist Katar

"The Professor speaks to agent 9 regarding something he found in his book about antiquities.  He tells Agent 9 that the  are parts that can build a bunching dagger (Katar) that can't be shattered.  The parts, are again hidden in 3 previously visited worlds + the hilt and pummel in Mermaid coast.   After a target parctice challenge, agent 9 is given a bet that he can't scale the London Shard.  When eh does this, t he person who placed the bet with them turns into haphaestus and forges the God's fist"

4. Wilikin - Hands of Castiel

"A wood carver finds the wilikin sleeping on a London street corner and whispers of a pair of gloves that can nullify the affect o prolonged spell usage.  Wilikin takes interest int his, tagging along with Abel and Test subject 3 while their giant robot  is still in construction, they got the north and the south of England ot acquired them both.  The woodcarver transfigures into Hephaestus who sews the  cubs to WIlikin's arms"

5.  Test Subject #7 - Katana of slow dying

"Aizen Magus meets with #7 on the beach yet again, talking to her about  something and nothing at hte same time at the start.  however, the subject of a slow killing katana after she trains more  with a trainee sword. Aizen enjoys the fact that eve n though she has "completed her training" and can turn into a dragon, she wants more.  Along with Agent 9 in tow,  They beat up Chav zombies in the alley sof london, until they're guided to the isle of Man, where they meet up with Wes and his A levels.  After a Karen and Chav Guantlet with a side order of Kameo Elements of power, the nightmare drops the sword.  Aizen shows up in Leupold and congratulates her.  "

6.  Test subject #8 - Dual Blades of Haphaestus

"Nina shows up at the door as in Test subject's #8's bedroom in the orphanage.  They have one of those talks where the subject of a map comes up in conversation.  Apparently in the  household itself, there's hidden library with an Eyeball pyramid which contains a forging recipe for a pair of  lazer swords that also inflect Ulltima damage.  Battling with 3 shadows and several proto chavs, they reach on of 3 keys.  Next, they slay the butler, then finally they put the screws to the matron herself.   after which, they place a talisman in the obvious eye symbol and find th library.  The fae librarian points them the way.  upon finding the forging instructions, the blades motify her previous lazer daggers into the blades of haphaestus"

Monday, March 21, 2022

Spyro the Dragon: The house of Four Doors

We begin in the spring fairy home where the plot has descended upon the Faewild in the form of something evil this way comes and in turn pisses off the anrchfae who finds 4 random Spyro-centric character in the wood , asking them for help.

A Wilikin, A test subject with a companion that won't shut he hell up and Abel. He telsl them that hep lot has to commence by the lot of them doing a fetch quest and they kind of reeluctantly agree. While that's going on, on Mermaid coast, an emo LITERALLY walks into a bar.

Back at the Spring Faery home, the Archfae gives them a plot dump in slow motion around  a slow motion  campfire.  They explain that the other archfae have been captured by the table scraps from Lilo and stitch and 4 keys form the Mega Man Legends sequel have been hidden in their arenas (that exists for plot convenience).  Of course, they must be the ones that retrieve these keys by doing the normal Spyro thing of completing 3 worlds, a bonus world and a boss fight. 

Meanwhile, the emo walks into a bar tells the barmaid mermaid person that he's waiting for "Someone" who is probably never going to turn up.   They  bring him an appropriately dark  coffee. He sips and goes film noir about some depressing shit. 

Starting at the autumn Fae home, the arch fae who has been turned into hone of those dragon statues from spyro the dragon 1 Speaks to the  not so fantastic 4 about what they saw...Happen.  Upon defeating the fist boss, Hunter's eternal love interest Bianca the rabbit gets exposed to Takyons.  The Takyons make her have a dream that goes into the realm of Child dev  She wanders through her old warren.  Hunter follows in after using those connection gear things form Xenosaga.  After going into quest world, he finds out that Bianca is actually remember a hive blocked memory from before he was taken.  She convince s hunter while in not questworld that she has to go back to the warrens he came from.  They part company and the plot continues.  

The archfae who got freed from t heir imprisonment in negative new age bullshit land explains that the coloured orbs seeing and picking upj talong the way are actually  elemental spheres.   These spheres give  a boost per elemental colour that lasts around an hour.  With this info, they stalk up at the creepy but convenient mr Moneybags shopping pad, and take the balloon to the autumn Faery home where thehy are bombarded bhy a gauntlet of Karen zombies

This causes takyon levels  to go up, and for .... SPyro to actually show up in a Spyro game.  AFter the fighing is over, swithcing from quick time event to cutscene and back again, Spyro explains that some very odd things have happened at conformist hunter HQ  as well as with the Endevour which won't sail for some reason.  

having gained one of the 4 keys, they continue, Hunter follows Bianca back into the Takyon induced land of Jodi with an I's degree where we finally find out what she's seeing:  A younger Gilbert, before he ran off.Once gain, hunter clears her out of not quest world, but the amnesiac like aftereffects cause serious problems for her and take longer to recover from.  In the winter faery home, they find their way to Mermaid coast, and the bar where Gilber it is waitng for them, all 4 of them. After compairing notes They figure that A.  The takyons are messing with the lapine, and the keys have something to dow ith  a construct known as the Akashic Records.  After sitting around and brainstorming a way to get tho the akashic regards, they part company, Gilbert joining them.  


On the island of Pedia, Abel and Test subject #3 find scrap metal and enough at that to build aan entire autotech.  AFter running around, battling messed up experiment monsters to gain more parts and such, theyb egin building


Steampunk Direwolf peaks up from his star wars hologram call from Sergeant byrd regarding the akashic records and what info he can dig up on them in ant arctic.  He also quips that he's worried about bianca's safey after being exposed to high levels of Takyons.  Frighteningly enough, Seargant Byrd notes that hes' seen Inle-rah along with the southern cross.

The image disappears and the 4 of them prattle on to the spring faery home,where e most of this all started .  Zoey the fairy from all the other continuities greets them and warns s them that Karen zombies wer sighted and spotted in and around stone henge 5,000 years ago, but she doesn't know how.  But also that Arkam, the organization behind almost everything  has been active yet again and his using the London Shard as a giant amplifier, presumable to break into  numbers space and find the Akashic records.   Through one of the worlds in the spring faery home,  Bianca and Hunter find the entrance to her old warren ,which by this time is in shambles. Her room sadly enough is still intact.  Gilbert meanwhile, as this dream around the campfire from Chrono trigger involving Willikins being attacked by Karen zombies non a giant floating island with a gear around it. He thinks this might be somewhere in Mechanus but he also remembers via a flashback that he's had this dream since he was a child at the not children's hospital school. Bianca wanders further into the warren finding her as said  in that bedroom.  Upon hearing and seeing the mobiles he passes out.  Onboard "The endevour", hunter senses a xenosaga reference and goes for a dive into not quest world where he finds her, passed out.  The Goddess char also draws Gilbert into the plane of imagination where he sees a full on version of the "dream" he  had.....A battle between prototype karen zombies  and Wilikins, for domination of Minimus, the missing continent in Mechanus.  

Test subject #3 and Abel finish their little after school project AKA the giant robot.  It lies in wait int eh shed until its needed having been equip with 2 unrealistically large flame throwers of taking out Karen and chav zombies, kitted out and ready for combat.  In a reenactment of the ending campfire scene from Chrono Trigger with  a  slow-motion figure, everyone of them  figure out, sidekick included that in order to pierce the veil and fly into the akashic records.  Sergeant byrd ends his weird star wars holophone call with with steampunk Direwolf, and they  try to find .. a spare rocket to stow away on. 

The main four characters return to 5,000 years ago and find that indeed, the anomaly has happened.  Rein, Test Subject #8 and Gilbert steal a life boat and ride to the Thames, when the get their, they bored a barge, headed for the shard.   They're mission? Shut down the transmitter.  Before crossing over into the dimension that the London  shard pierces,  Gilbert is summoned by the Goddess Char tot he fallen and sprawld out body of Bianca.. Having collapsed previously he pulls her out of her mind, she in return, gives him a Ribbon that he swiped from his old director. Seeing that he's given a chance to Return it, he excites and finds out that he's no won a giant field.  bringing it back to her, his child-self apologizes.  

On the island of pedia, Gilbert's Present body walks towards his child soul until its indicated that they've combined.  Reaching the near pinnacle, the 4 chosen by the archfae battle the elementals,  best them in combat and ready themselves for astral space travel.  having acquired the armour, Gilbert flies into space himself and waits for them.  

Finding a rocket that is being used to transfer thigs tot he ISS, the 4 of them board it.  

A Wooden Doll without he ability to feel

A lost child reaching out for his parents

A child viewed as naught but an object

and a dragon with a birth defect

All bored the rocket that is readying for launch to finally reach the "House of 4 doors.  Having bested the last vestiges of Arkam in combat, Gilbert slides a bag of gold to the architect wishing for him to erase Arkam from the planet and its memories.   On the way home, a spectre of Lara forgives him for that day, and her soul is transferred to hollow earth.  Now known as"The Director" she now watches over young dragons.  

5,000 years later, An Anthropomorphic professor finds a tablet on a shore he's walking on.  With a small tear formingin his tear ducts, he packs away the tablet nothing that it reads "The legend of spyro".  The curtain closes.  Fin